He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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