the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
