You work out of a Hotel?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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