There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
