Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
