It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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