My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize