sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I came so hard my ears popped.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
