Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
