pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize