id be glad to
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
