I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
