she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
