at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
