4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think i have two assholes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
