In the future we'll all be gay
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
