saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
