That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
