every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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