We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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