This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
