a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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