My liver just broke up with me...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Randomize
