so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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