Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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