just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
