Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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