you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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