we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
