we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
