as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
