So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
