Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
