u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
