Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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