Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
