I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
