why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize