That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
