Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
