The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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