i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
