Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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