so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
