who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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