Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Randomize
