Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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