do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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