You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
