I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
