You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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