bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
NoShamevember. You game?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
