Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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