Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
