I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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