Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
