We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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