how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize