I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
