You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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