She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think i have two assholes
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
