Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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