living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
