I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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