girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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