Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize