that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
