Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
