What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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