So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
