Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
