How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
