I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
