there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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