Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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