I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
