I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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