I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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