Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
