Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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