bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
