I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this boner is exhausting
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
