Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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