And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
