Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
