it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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