I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
