I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize