singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
