is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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