Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
