Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
