So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
