I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize