HIV tests are more positive than that guy
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
